The Discovery' (Alternate Dimensions Book 4) Read online

  Finally, there was the feeling of failure. We wouldn’t have been put in the position where we needed to blow Genesis up, if I had listened to Jyra and planned accordingly. Yet, I had had my sights so set on my goal of finding my best friend that nothing else had mattered. That was selfish, and my selfishness had cost Angel her life.

  Then again… could I ever have changed Angel’s mind? She was over three hundred years old. Was thinking that I knew better than her presumptuous?

  I didn’t really have a way to know. It wasn’t like I could go and ask her.

  A knock sounded at my door, but I waited almost a solid minute before answering.

  “Come in,” I growled.

  “Good evening, Miss Andi.”

  I was surprised to hear Bajol’s cool, soothing voice . I sat up, looking over to see him dressed in a dark grey tunic with black pants below it. It wasn’t quite a suit, but it was definitely funeral formalwear.

  “I wish I was seeing you again under different circumstances.”

  I pushed off my covers and swung my feet to the floor, just realizing that I had a solid wardrobe of two whole outfits, neither of which were appropriate for sending off a great and powerful woman.

  “I don’t have anything to wear,” I noted absently. God, what a shit problem to have. My friend was dead and I was worried about an empty closet.

  “Yes, Viys’k thought that was the case, and Arq has donated a dress she believes should fit you.” He held up a small package in his hands.

  I stood, my body surprisingly stiff, and crossed over to take it. “How long was I out, anyways?”

  “Just under two days. They put quite a large dosage in you.”

  I let out a derisive snort. “I guess they forgot about my sensitivity to any sort of sedative.”

  “They were just looking out for you.”

  “Yeah. I got that,” I grumbled. “But that meant no one was watching out for Angel.”

  A strange expression crossed his face and he took a step closer then closed the door. “May we talk a minute?”

  “Sure,” I said, idly opening the package while perching on the end of my bed.

  “Although you’re not from here, I’m sure you’re still aware that being a doctor in our system requires years of schooling.”

  “Yeah. It’s pretty similar in my world.”

  He nodded. “As you can imagine, years of my life have gone toward learning to save lives. I ate, slept, and breathed it. I graduated an entire year early and immediately landed a coveted spot in a program on one of the research station.” I wondered where this was going a bit, but I didn’t interrupt him. If Bajol was speaking, he had a reason to. “All my work was finally going to come to fruition. All my years of theorizing, memorizing and practicing was going to pay off.

  “When I was assigned my first study, with Doctor Cridik at the helm, I was determined to save whoever it was who walked in that door. And do you know what happened?”

  “You cured them and realized you can do anything and therefore I can do anything, too?”

  “They died.” I started a bit at that, but his expression remained unchanged. “We all did everything we could to save them, but they had an infection combined with some particularly egregious wounds and we just couldn’t get them back from it. I was devastated. I cried for hours, feeling as if we had all failed that one soul. But eventually, I picked myself back up, forced myself to keep attending rounds, and within a day we had another patient. Do you want to guess what happened to them?”

  “You learned from your mistakes and they’re living a long and happy life?”

  “They died, too.” Now I really didn’t know what was going. “And so did the next one. And the next one. You see, the program I was working for dealt with people that everyone else had given up on. The impossible to save. But we wouldn’t give up. Our patients knew that their chances of coming out on the other side of our facility were less than ten percent, but that ten percent was so much more than what anybody else was offering.

  “It was an entire year before we had a patient that lived. And I swear, in that moment when I saw them walk out the doors onto their transport ship, everything suddenly made sense.” He reached forward and gently took my hand in his. His skin was cool to the touch, just like Jyra’s and reminded me ever so faintly of a dolphin.

  “You see, Andi. You Strangers lot are not too different from me when I was in that program. You’re all fighting to save impossible cases, and you’ve been chosen to treat an illness as virulent and evil as they come. You’re going to lose. Often. And terribly. Angel may be that first patient you couldn’t save, but she will not be the last. In the end, you just have to hold onto the knowledge that it is all worth it. She did not die in vain.”

  I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes. “But what if I’m never successful? What if this universe falls and we’re left with just sickness?”

  “That won’t happen. Trust me. I have seen many impossible, insane thing on my travels, but nothing quite as wild or unstoppable as you. If there is anyone who can lead this dimension in the right direction, it’s you.” I didn’t know what to say, so I just fiddled with the dress pooled in my lap. Bajol seemed to understand, however and let go of my hand. “I’ll give you a moment to get prepped.”

  “Oh, it’s going to more than a minute, but thanks for that vote of confidence.”

  “Don’t worry about that,” he said. “I’ll be just outside when you need me.”

  “Thank you.” He gave me a slight nod then showed himself out, allowing me my privacy. I ended staring at the wall for several minutes before urging myself to get up and get going. The fight couldn’t stop now. That would be a waste of everything Angel had sacrificed herself for.

  I guessed I should probably go wash myself first. I could still feel that I was covered in the crust and grime of our last mission. Perhaps if I had all of that go down the drain, I would feel a little less awful.

  I headed to the bathroom and let my tattered jumpsuit fall to the floor. As I stood under the spray, I took inventory of myself. I had fairly deep scratches in my sides, blood caked all around the holes and dribbling down to form a line just above where my underwear had been. I had a deep bruise on my hip that I was willing to bet went all the way about to my butt, and numerous burns everywhere.

  They stung in the heated spray, little bites of discomfort, but my sore muscles wouldn’t allow for anything cooler. It was heaven to have the heat go through my hair and caress my scalp, and it looked like hell was running off me.

  I couldn’t quite tell if it was black or brown, but the water at my feet was certainly filthy. Thankfully the drainage system on the ship was top notch and my feet didn’t have to soak in the grossness.

  I wanted to stay in the spray forever, just absorbing the goodness and heat of the water. But I knew that wasn’t an option. I had to go out and face the real world.

  I stood in front of the mirror, looking at my face. I had bags under my eyes, deep and almost purple in appearance. Although my hair was washed, it was sitting flat and heavy around my face in defeated, sopping curls. I had a barely closed gash on my forehead and almost half of my face was consumed by a reddish-purple bruise.

  At least my outsides were reflecting my insides for once.

  If this were an event on earth, I would be putting on a subtle makeup, brushing my hair into a semi-controlled updo, and ironing/steaming my outfit. But I didn’t have any mak up here, or know if make up was really even much of a thing. I also didn’t own a brush. Or anything, really. I was a homeless vagabond in this dimension and it was only just now that it was hitting home.

  With a sigh, I stood under the dehydrator and let it absorb the rampant amount of moisture in my curly mop of red until the curls were back into their usual wild halo. Angel would have liked that. In what little downtime we had, she often would absently pull at my curls and let them spring back while she plotted something or another. I suppose since Seirr didn’t have
any hair, my locks were probably a bit of a novelty.

  The thought allowed a small smile to grow on my lips as I headed back into the room. Normally, I couldn’t just prance about naked, but my roommates weren’t present. I didn’t know if that was what I wanted or not, but that’s how it was.

  Finally, I put on the dress. It was both simple and slinky all at once. Colored a dark, dark blue, it was elegant in its design, and clung to me without being particularly indecent or salacious. It was very Arq and I was honored that she thought me worthy of wearing something of hers.

  When I was finished, I stood there another moment, staring at the door. If I stepped out, I would have to face the reality that the great revolutionary was gone. If I stayed in here, nothing else would happen. She could remain in the limbo of not really being gone. Schrodinger’s half-kin.

  “Andi? I don’t mean to hurry you, but I believe it’s starting in just fifteen minutes.”

  “I’m coming,” I answered, stepping forward to open the door and join him in the hall. “You know where it is, I assume?”

  “Yes, of course. I wouldn’t be a very good guide otherwise, would I?”

  I managed a shaky sort of half-smile and the smaller male offered his arm in response. Although his limb was much slighter than mine, it still felt lovely to have something to hold onto. Together, we walked through halls I had never bothered to traverse through before, until we reached out destination.

  I knew we were there by the crowd of people gathered in the hall. I saw crewmates, some in uniform, some not, as well as others in civilian clothes that I didn’t recognize. If I had to hazard a guess, they were probably rescued half-kin from the black market and their descendants. Angel had certainly touched so many lives.

  And now she wouldn’t any longer.

  Actually, I supposed that wasn’t true. Even though she was gone, she had changed the entire galaxy for the better. But still… it was hard not to let my thoughts slide into the dark and depressing realm that they wanted to be in.

  We walked through the crowded hall and I was surprised when people parted. Like I was some person of importance. Didn’t they realize that I was the one that had caused the death of the amazing woman they all respected?

  I felt like I deserved to be vilified. Reprimanded. Punished. Even if Bajol had given me a lovely speech and my mind had seen his reasoning, my heart still definitely wasn’t ready to look at the positives yet.

  And then we were inside of a large room, one entire wall being the same transparent material that allowed us to look into the depths of space. I saw the planet where Jyra’s secret base was hidden below, as well as a beautiful stream of comets and gaseous clouds.

  But instead of solemn rows of people all seated with heads bowed and some sort of pulpit at its center, there was a lively crowd milling about possibly the largest arrangement of food I had ever seen.

  Arq stood just behind it, filling vial after vial with some sort of drink. Instead of being in a dress like me, she was dressed sharply in full pirate captain regalia. Or at least what I assumed the sci-fi version of that was. She had on a crisp, scarlet jacket and what I could only describe as black, oily leggings below. She had a gun attached to her hip and a forearm length gizmo strapped onto the corresponding limb. She was a cutting figure indeed, and I could see why Angel had been so enamored with her.

  I barely managed to tear my eyes away from the no-longer Captain double as Bajol led me to a small cluster of folk containing Janix, Viys’k, and Anjali. A quick dart of my eyes revealed we were short a number.

  “Where’s Jyra?” I questioned, concern knitting my brows together.

  Janix pointed over to the back corner of the room. “She’s not very good in crowds, apparently.”

  Several memories popped into my head from long ago and I nodded. “Oh, right. I remember she almost had a panic attack when I was talking to her in a mall. She said she didn’t like all the people. It made her feel uncomfortable, and watched.”

  “Well, she’s not wrong,” the mooreerie remarked. “I think word of her has gotten out, and now half the people she runs into stare at her a good minute or two before coming to their senses.”

  “That’s… unfortunate.”

  My words felt clunky on my tongue so I just left it at that. I hated to see her ostracized, clinging to the edge of the room like someone miserable in her own skin, but she was a grown woman and knew how to handle herself in these situations. Besides, I was still somewhat mad at her for drugging me. …wasn’t I?

  “Greetings, friend, crew and family,” Arq said, finishing her drink pouring and stepping to the center of the massive spread. “Thank you for joining me today in this celebration of Vysinagiel Marthanti’s life. She was an amazing woman, which I think we all know. She was our Captain, savior of the half-kin, and my partner.

  “Some of you know how she was able to live such a long and fruitful life, and some of you were under the assumption that she was some sort of descendant of the original Vysinagiel. That doesn’t matter now. What does matter is that all of you know the amazing, incredible life she led.

  “Angel was born in captivity. Her future was going to be either breaking her back for those who owned her, or warming the lap of some sexual deviant or another. But she knew that was not enough for her, nor her brother, nor her sister, or any other half-kin unlucky enough to be brought into this very small universe that we have here.

  “And so she fought. And she lost. And she won. The spectacle that was her life was both frantic and full of adventure. She loved, she lost, and eventually she stood in the center of the Councilate and won personhood for her people.

  “I think we can all agree that moment will be one of the greatest in this millennium. So of course, her death had to be just as spectacular.” Her voice wavered just slightly, but she kept on, “Just two days ago, she gave her life taking down the same threat that haunted her back when she was in captivity. And it was a magnificent show.

  “So, please, join with me in applause for her performance, and join me in a meal filled with only her favorite foods. Together, we will eat, drink, repeat old tales of her impossible exploits and give her a sendoff worthy of her name!”

  A responding cheer worked through the crowd and I could only stare. Was this really a funeral here? It seemed so…happy. So lacking in tears and morose stares.

  Then again, it was also very Angel.

  The crowd began to shift, filtering itself to form a line at the end of the sizable smorgasbord. I just stood there, until Bajol carefully pulled at my elbow. “Would you like to join them?”

  “Uh, no, not really,” I answered honestly. I was rarely one to turn down food, but my stomach was twisting far too much.

  “No problem. Do you mind if we go up?”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I’ll just be here a moment.”

  They all moved with the crowd and I took a few steps backwards, away from the shifting people. I didn’t want to be impolite, but I also had been mentally preparing myself for an event that was utterly different than what I was expecting.

  “Are you okay?”

  I looked beside me at the sound of Jyra’s soft voice. She was dressed in almost the exact same outfit as Bajol, and I wondered if he had let her borrow something from his own wardrobe. Her hair was just as I had seen it in the Meeting Place, flowing around her features gracefully.

  “Yeah,” I murmured. “Just processing.”

  “I am sorry that I drugged you.”

  It was such an odd sentence that I almost barked a short laugh, but my amusement wasn’t quite that hearty. “I suppose you thought you had no choice.”

  “That is correct.” She wavered. “Everything I have done for years has gone into finding you. Years of research, study and work. You have to understand that when Angel had already made her decision, my only choice was to make sure that you survived.”

  “I get it, I do,” I snapped before containing my tone. “Logically, I understan
d the entire situation. Angel couldn’t pass up a chance to utterly destroy the enemy. When her first plan failed, she went with the only remaining option.

  “And the rest of you knew I would most likely die trying to save her. You couldn’t allow that, so you did what you had to.”

  I took a very deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. “But even though my head knows that, my heart doesn’t. My emotions tell me to yell and kick and scream and break things. I’m angry. At myself. At you. At Janix. At Angel. Everyone. If I could logic my heart into submission, I would. But I can’t, so I’m left in this weird sort of limbo.”

  “That sounds greatly distressing,” she answered carefully. Then again, everything Jyra spoke was always said carefully. “I do not understand emotions in that way, but I can empathize with the maelstrom that that has to be.”

  “You never were one for all those high-flying feelings, were you?”

  She smiled very slightly. “I am a simple woman who likes simple feelings so I can focus on my discoveries.”

  “And I am anything but that.”

  “I’d like to think that we were meant to complement each other in this particular arrangement.”

  “That is a rather lovely thought.”

  We went quiet again, watching the others laugh, load up their plates and grab a tankard. It was a bit strange, standing here on the fringe, mourning while everyone else seemed to be having a blast.

  “Why did we forget each other?”

  I hadn’t been expecting that and I had to do a double-take toward the half-kin beside me. “Pardon?”

  “We forgot each other,” she stated flatly again, her gaze straight ahead instead of looking at me. “We used to be there for each other every day. You were the only person who listened to me, who didn’t think me odd, or unsociable. And then one day, he attacked you and you never came back. What happened?”

  As if I needed any more unpleasantness, my brain flashed back to that night in question. I hadn’t tried to remember it since my memories had returned, but it was rising quickly to the surface with a vengeance.